Self: Hey Laura, remember that time when you chose a paint color for the exterior of your 

home?

Me: Well, no. I don’t. I’ve never committed to a color.

S: Oh that’s right. You’re still looking. Hey—remember that time when you took the kids to an appointment and you liked the color of the door on the practitioner’s office? You snapped a photo really quick before stepping inside.

M: Why, yes--I remember. That was a great color on that door.

S: And what about that walk you had with Mari? You clandestinely snapped photos of other people’s homes in the hope that they wouldn’t notice. I bet you looked pretty creepy out there on the sidewalk, standing in front of strangers’ homes and snapping photos. They were probably a little freaked out.

M: [chuckle]. I guess I did look pretty funny. But I didn't let the creep factor stop me. It was an educational field trip.

S: There was that beautiful night last summer when you & Greg went out to Colectivo, remember? Rather than spending quality time with your husband, you positioned yourself to take a photo of the trim so that you could capture the most accurate color.

M: Well yes, I did do that. But after I took a bunch of photos and ensured that I had gotten a good depiction of that gray-green, we settled right in to a great conversation. I made sure I sat facing the building so that I could watch the color change as the sun set.

S: There was the trip to Florida too. You snapped a quick photo as you were walking into Restoration Hardware.

M: Yes, but it was too gray for my house.

S: There was the car ride downtown and you made Greg drive around the block twice very slowly so that you could snap a photo of this building:

M: I purchased a paint pot of that color but it was too green for my house. The color of that building is more limestone and I have a brown-yellow brick. [Sigh].

S: Of course, you've done a fair share of rubbernecking & pulling over to the side of the road to take photos. I bet the people behind you just love your erratic driving, huh?

M: Yes, perhaps I rubbernecked and drove a bit crazy from time to time while checking out colors. But surely if the people behind me knew my predicament, they'd understand.

S: And what is your predicament?

M: If you knew anything at all, you'd know that my brick is not quite brown or yellow. And the mortar is pink. Pink! What am I supposed to do with pink mortar?!?! Who else on earth has to deal with this?! I demand to know what colors they chose.

S: Sheesh. Settle down. You have two years of debate on this issue. I just assumed you would have it settled by now.

M: You seem a little judgy to me.

S: Not judging. Just observing. I see that you have over 200 pins on your Pinterest board.

 M: Yes, I do. But not a single one of those colors looked great with my brick/mortar combination.

S: And because Pinterest left you unfulfilled, you started looking at real estate listings for ideas.

M: Yup. I thought it was pretty brilliant.

S: Not a single one of those worked for you, so you turned every excursion downtown into a color sightseeing tour.

 

M: You bet I did. There's a lot of yellow-y brick downtown. None of those colors worked out though.

S: You drove by the chocolatier storefront in the Fifth Ward and liked the color so much that you called the store, remember? That was a little weird.

M: I did call and was connected to the person who chose the colors for the store. He told me the exact colors! I felt like I was talking to a celebrity.

S: Surely those colors worked out for you?

M: No, one was too purple and the other wasn't deep enough.

S: Some may think you're being a bit too picky and neurotic about this. Others may think you've venturing off into some kind of mental health crisis. 

M: Certainly not. I will be finished with this nonsense as soon as I find the perfect color palette.

S: You mentioned palette. At first you thought green would be a good fit, but for the past year and a half, you've been on a quest for the perfect blue-gray. Do you think a perfect palette exists?

M: I am certain it does. But I've switched off of the quest for blue-gray. It doesn't work with my mortar.

S: So what is your color quest now?

M: Dusty pink. 

S: You're kidding.

M: Nope. But if anyone ever refers to my house as "that pink house" I will punch them square in the nose. It will obviously be not pink, but a dusty-pink-hued neutral.

The End.

So. The paint color for the exterior. Last week I posted on Facebook that I was going to choose a color, paint my house and move on with my life. I spent that morning analyzing colors, bought a couple more sample pots and had a revelation (a revelation which halted any actual choosing of a paint color).  You guys are great because some of you have told me you're in the same predicament of color paralysis. Others of you have been sending me photos of houses with my shade of brick with color ideas. And some of you are holding my feet to the fire and telling me just to commit already. There's a story behind my indecision. Ten years ago we were shopping for a couch. This was my first big purchase as a real live grown up and I didn't want to mess it up. I found a couch I liked (and happily still like) and chose a fabric in a color I love (and still love). 
It's a mustard yellow color and it's warm and inviting and just a little different than you'd see on a couch. Although I do appreciate the color, it's been extremely challenging over the years to find a paint color, pillows or rug that goes with this couch.  In retrospect, I should have chosen a neutral couch and purchased pillows or rugs in colors I love to go with it. You see where I'm going with this right? I wanted a dark, inky blue for my house.  I tried probably every shade and hue of that color on this house. I have the paint pots in my basement to prove it. But the colors didn't look good with the brick, or with the shingles, or with the pink mortar. Yes, my mortar is pink. The solution? Neutral trim and a rocking door.

via

via

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The good news is that I can paint my door every year for the next 37 years or so (because that's how many paint pots are in my basement) and I can have the color I love but in a small and unoffensive dose. Boom. Problem solved. Sorry for the complete letdown. After all this fuss, I'm just choosing a shade of white and cream. How original, right? You can call me a chicken if you like. But I am a wise chicken with a yellow couch.

My house is having an identity crisis. If you've been following this blog for any length of time, you know that I have lacked progress of any kind in choosing the right paint color for my home's exterior.  It began with a gray blue in May 2014:


Nope. It doesn't really tie in with the brick.
In November I thought I'd try out some earth tones.
Looks great on the paint cards but lame on the house. 
Later that month I tried a chalky gray with blue/green undertone. 

Nope.

At this point I am so tired of spending money on the paint pots. Each and every time I go into Sherwin Williams, the same guy is working and he probably knows all by children's birthdays and favorite movies by now. Thankfully he is a really helpful guy, but each time I walk in and see him working, I duck my head in shame because I am back...again.  Come on, Chris. Take a vacation or something. 
This was the state of my front window all winter long because it was too cold to paint. So embarrassing. I am starting to think it looked better as a board up. At least all the color of the plywood boards were consistent and non-offensive.

I've been working on our new front storm door.  I like quick and easy jobs because there's too many difficult and long jobs in my life right now.  Like raising kids.  

Two words, people: danish oil.  That's where it's at.  I've used it on a footstool, china cabinet, dining room chairs and now on the front door.

I asked the paint guys if danish oil would weather well for an exterior application and they agreed that either danish oil or a marine grade spar would work well.  They estimated I'd get 2-3 years out of the danish oil application versus a 5-6 year using a spar.  But if I used a spar, I'd have to sand the door before reapplying another coat and with danish oil, I can just rub more on without sanding first.

You had me at hello, danish oil.

There's different colors of oil and my two favorites are the medium and dark walnut.  I used the dark for this project.


I put a little on first to make sure I'd like it.




Here's one coat:

 Two coats and a kid: