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April 2017
33 Easy Steps to Hang Ikea Ekby Shelf in Two Short Days!
Step 7: Drill holes and level first shelf bracket. The first bracket hung beautifully level. I am amazing. I can do anything. I should have my own tv show.
Step 8: Drill holes and level second bracket. As I was screwing in both screws, they both got stuck about 1/4 inch from completion. I pondered this and then remember that there's a metal pipe in the wall behind the sink that I was probably hitting.
Step 21: None of the screwdriver turn the screw. Curse all screwdrivers.
Step 22: Change Pandora station from that happy music it's playing to something more epic and dismal.
Step 23: Debate lighting screwdrivers on fire.
Step 24: Get another screwdriver. Hold other screwdrivers hostage until their fate is determined by performance of new screwdriver.
Step 25: New screwdriver turns screw slightly. Check screw. Screw head is completely stripped which is why it's not going in.
Step 26: Inform screwdrivers that I will not be lighting them on fire as previously determined. Apologize to them for hostage situation and get back on their good side.
Step 27: Take out stripped screw. Light it on fire and dance around the flames.
Step 28: Get new screw. Turn screw three times and watch screw drop into indent of dryer door.
Step 29: Attempt unsuccessfully to retrieve screw from dryer door. Must open dryer to retrieve screw.
Step 30: Screw drops into dryer and disappears. Empty out all clothes in dryer to retrieve screw.
Step 31: Insert screw.
Step 32: Take photos and bask in feelings of accomplishment.
Step 33: Check into anger management classes.
I think I'm going to lie down now.
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